In our ongoing quest to tie everything in our lives to video games, we proudly present the How to Live Like series. Within you’ll find tips, tricks, and general knowledge on how to positively transform your life using your favorite video games as a guide. Think of it like a dork bible…only everything within really happened…in fake worlds. This week, we present World of Warcraft.
Do you find endless pleasure traipsing around the frozen land of Northrend? Are pandas your new favorite mammal? Do you think villains are only worthwhile if they’ve got cults supporting them? Do you wish gold farming was legal because, if it were, you would quit your job faster than a hearth (with guild perks applied) to Stormwind? Then you, dear dork, play way too much World of Warcraft. But fear not. There are plenty of ways you can use this experience to your advantage by applying the lessons of Azeroth to the crumbling ruin of your pathetic life.
Chunk-O-Knowledge One: Improving Employment
Your job probably sucks, right? I mean it pays the bills (most importantly your monthly sub fee), but you wish you could find something more in line with what you love doing.
Here’s how WoW can help. Say you’re starting a new toon on a new server without any gold or heirlooms. Essentially you’re starting from scratch (before you initiate your nerd rage as to why anyone would ever do this, please remember this is merely a hypothetical…and your anger issues are getting out of control).
Now one of the first things you’re going to to want to do is establish some rock solid gold-income professions. You’re going to take a trip to the auction house and run some numbers. You’re going to look into the price of copper (ore and bars…cause you’re smart like that), silverleaf, leather, and the prices of low-level crafting items in Blacksmithing, Engineering, Jewelcrafting, Leatherworking, etc. You’re then going to go through process of elimination until you settle on the perfect starting profession combo for this new server.
Seems simple, right? Intuitive, even. Well, you’re in luck because these tips can also be applied to your ridiculous life. Step one, find your gold. If your goal is to make a lot of gold in World of Warcraft, the above hypothetical will likely serve you well. But if you’re twinking out a hunter, than this process changes. The point is in order to improve your work situation you must first understand your currency, be it gold or twink gear. Get what I’m saying? Figure out what you want first.
Then, systematically deconstruct the process, just like you would at the auction house. Do some research and take note of anything you find that might be relevant. Then make a decision and take action. Just like you would immediate start tapping into those copper veins, start breaking into your new job market – slowly, piece by piece, until you see results. And always be sure to adjust your tactics as the world around you changes. I mean you wouldn’t keep selling your stacks of Earthroot at the same price forever, would you? No, you’d check them against the auction house to make sure you’re priced appropriately. The same applies to work. Keep your goal in mind, but give yourself the freedom to be flexible.
Chunk-O-Knowledge Two: Love Life
I’m sad to admit that I almost always treat female toons (and especially female players) a little bit differently in WoW. I think if we’re all being honest with each other, most of us guys do. But, apart from the awkward jokes during a raid, pretending to be AFK so you can follow that sweet-assed Night Elf guildie of yours around for a while, and shamefully googling WoW hentai every now and again many of us WoW players have a bit of trouble in the love life department.
How can good ol’ World of Warcraft help with this, you ask? Well, it’s time to get real nerds. You’re going to have to change some shit. I know, I know, you’re a precious, unique, little butterfly and you ain’t changing for nobody. Okay, that’s cool, but here’s the reality of the situation. Those hot nerd gamer girls you’re looking for are pretty freaking rare. And most of them probably wouldn’t want you anyway. I mean, do you really believe Felicia Day’s dating life is like this?
The truth is you wouldn’t try to get into a hardcore raid or arena match without improving your character first (I’m talking before ilvl standards people). And this is probably true of your love life too. Make some improvements. Get to the gym, go on a diet, work on your career, go out with friends more (or make friends…if applicable). In short, put a better, happier, more well-adjusted version of yourself out there. You’d be surprised what might happen.
Chunk-O-Knowledge Three: Be More Awesome
Ya know what’s weird? Most of my WoW-playing friends sport fashion styles with are either incredibly bland or unnecessarily witty (I’m looking at you graphic t-shirt guy). When you ask them about it, most of these friends will simply say fashion’s not important to them. But these are the same people who spend countless hours and ridiculous amounts of gold fine-tuning their toons’ appearance to perfection.
Look here, Sally. The way you look matters in the real world. Get your shit together. Spend at least a third of the time you devote to your character on yourself and you’ll see a massive improvement. This crap trickles down too. Looking your best often times means feeling confident and, just like that time you decided you were going to solo Molten Core, confidence leads to you being more awesome. If being self-assured in-game leads to awesome crap like this imagine what you can do with it in the real world:
Being more awesome/confident/self-assured/whatever you want to call it is a trait most people never really get to have. But you can. All because you play World of Warcraft. Stay dorky my friends.